Archive for the ‘Anything Goes’ category

How To Be A Leader (Or A Better Leader) At Home and At Work Part II

October 8th, 2012

Back in August, I wrote Part I of How to Be A Leader At Home and At Work. I was motivated to put this How-To together because I’ve had so many experiences with what doesn’t work in situations with people I love and have been close to. It’s because of the less than ideal experiences that I’ve gone through that this list has been created.  And no, I do not have it mastered, but at least it is out of my head and onto to paper so that I may be able to take my time to master these principles. Because the relationships that I have are very important to me, I’m motivated to think about, write, and master the qualities that create successful relationships. Having positive, peaceful, and authentic relationships is integral to being a better leader at home or at work.

Part II consists of an additional 5 tips on how to be a leader (or a better one) at home and at work. Take a few minutes and let these settle in.

6. Think out of the box. A leader is a life learner; this doesn’t necessarily mean the MBA or PhD type of learning. Thinking out of the box in this case means letting yourself get inspired by other people and common every day phenomena. Thinking out of the box could mean opening yourself to believe that life itself and other people are really great teachers, too! Be open enough to allow these teachers to lead you out of your box once in awhile.

7. Have a good time! Most of the time, home life and work life should be places of enjoyment. Share laughter, enjoy your work. If you don’t love your work, whether at home or at your place of employment, learn to love what you do. Do what needs to be done in a good spirit and with a light heart. It’s okay to have a good time, we can still be productive — many times we are more productive when we approach our work with a lighter heart and some equanimity.

8. Greet your fellow humans. I know. This one could seem irrelevant to being a leader, but it’s soo not! It is very relative to being a leader. Greetings are like small deposits that you give to others. (Remember, build deposits before you drawback). You show that you see them and care about them. If you can greet the fellow humans that you’re around every day, it communicates that you are consistent. Consistency is, more times than not, trusted and liked.

9. Allow for input. Try to encourage a space and or place for communication. Yes, you are the leader, but you don’t know everything and you don’t have to know everything. Giving others a safe space and place to communicate (with you) often times builds a sense of loyalty because those around you feel like they can be of some contribution. Having loyalty can take the pressure of you to know everything and do everything. Others can and will contribute something to and for you because you’ve given them room to express their ideas.

10. Ask don’t demand. As a leader, it’s so easy to simply make demands. But if you want to be a better leader, ask for something to be done instead of just telling someone what to do. Asking is another kind of deposit. It shows that you can respect others and that it turn will earn you respect. Being consistent with this one is key to earning the respect.

I hope that you got something from Part II of How To Be A Leader (or A Better Leader) at Home and At Work. Be sure to revisit Part I. Print them out, review these every once in a while; I know I will! [Because I have to — I could really use the reminding.]

Look out for Part III, it’s coming soon.

Magic In The Air, Ki Healing

October 2nd, 2012

Such a buzz in the air. It feels like the first day of Fall, but it’s the second day of October.

I love our Indian Summers. October 1 was easily one of the hottest days of the year and luckily I got to be working at home. I say luckily because working at home affords me the luxury of flexibility. Because of that flexibility, I got to experience all of the magic in the air on this day. Maybe it was the near perfect weather or maybe it was the first day you could really feel Fall or maybe it was because it was the first day after an intense Full Moon. Whatever the reason, there was magic.

‘How do you feel magic in the air?’ you may wonder. Well, firstly, anyone can feel it. (But not everyone does). And second, you’ve definitely felt it before. Think of the Twilight time, the two special times of a day (between full night and sunrise or between sunset and full night) when diffusion of sunlight through the atmosphere and its dust occurs. Who in the world doesn’t love Twilight? Everyone loves twilight time because  it’s a magical time. If you’re one of those people, like me, who loves the twilight hours, you know exactly what magic feels like.

There’s a very simple reason why being aware of magic is important. It’s because when you can sense what’s in the air, you are connected. In other words, you are plugged in. Plugged into really good stuff, soul-food, life-affirming kind of stuff.

Being connected to sources that feed your soul,  like sensing magic in the air, is you connecting to something much bigger (i.e. like the creative power of the universe). Sensing this magic is equal to experiencing this connection. When you experience it with an open-eyed awareness,  it gives a deep sense of satisfaction and a little bit of feeling like you’re in love! The best part for me is that it’s all free.

Do you sense magic all around you? Are there particular times when you feel it more?

Are You A Perfectionist?

June 5th, 2012

Have I ever told you that I am a recovering perfectionist? These days, when I’m not being perfect, I am sooooo much more forgiving of myself. I know that there are a bunch of us gals that still suffer or at least have bouts of the I-Need-To-Be-Perfect-Illness. This post is for you  … and for me, too, since Writing has always been a trustworthy guide of mine.

I’m always amazed at how Spirit works. Spirit never fails to work in such magical and mystifying ways. I’ve been thinking of writing a post about how the “mishaps” that show up in her external lives reveal the “mishaps” that are first happening within, at the level of soul and energy. But, as it has turned out, that’s not what this post is about. Instead Spirit wants to teach something else. When Spirit wants to teach you something, there’s not really an easy way out of it. No matter what plans you’ve laid out for yourself, it just does not happen. And this could be at all levels of planning, from your day to day mundane schedules to your life goal plans.

This weekend, we have been learning a lot about ourselves. Spirit has created time for the both of us to review some important lessons in our spiritual training.

One area that light has been shed on is in the area of Perfectionism. I have discovered traces of the affliction still living within me, camouflaging itself in very narrow pathways inside of my brain. I know, right? Sounds like the beginning of a Sci-Fi plot! The form it has taken is nearly invisible, but I managed to “scrape” enough of its surface to examine it and learn more about it.

Here’s what I have found so far: the trace of my perfectionism is genetic. My father suffered from this affliction, too, but with devastating results. Even more interesting is what I found to be the reason for this particular succession. The reason is actually a root question, an unskilled question, judge for yourself — “How is it that I can be so imperfect?”

A cocky question one might think. I might think that way too, at first, but before throwing this post out to the birds branding the question cocky, this is my far out but possibly helpful theory.

Some of us have or have had, at one time or another, embodiment issues. We are not thrilled that we are on planet earth having a human experience. Accepting our humanity can be difficult. To accept our humanity also means that we must accept our imperfection. We all know that quote, “To err is human;to forgive divine.” [Alexander Pope] Exactly. Forgiving our human imperfection is Divine, but not necessarily human. Instead, it’s our nature to just be amiss. Drag City.

Why would anyone believe that they should be perfect? Aside from typical mother-father psychological issues that hopefully are now resolved or mostly resolved, I believe that it’s because at one time in space and place we really were perfect.

At one time we were perfect. Now, as embodied human beings we painfully still have the recollection of that perfection. And like a broken code that takes us to a blank web page with a bold 404 message, we have an internal code error. Within our genetic make up, this code error does not allow us to forget that those were the days when once we were perfect, when once we were in full spectrum potency and could perform any task, deal with any situation perfectly. As a result, we are facing the typical That Was Then, This Is Now crunch. It’s like, “Gee. Once I was way up in the universe in a perfect place as a perfect being living with my perfect God and now I’m here. On planet earth. Living as a mere mortal human where much of my experience has been to wonder if God even exists. Big Sigh.”  As a dear old friend used to say, “What to do?”

Luckily, there’s not really much of  anything to do. Instead, simply considering this kind-of far out idea will take care of most of the work, especially if this idea resonates with any of you. For me, considering this as a possible reality helps me to work out a different code for myself. It helps me to understand why I’m in a loop over my imperfections. It helps me to more fully accept my experience as a human being, and with that a deeper tolerance for myself and others emerges. Turns out there’s perfection in not being perfect!

Our journey as humans is a spiritual experience and at the end of the day, it is forgiving that is divine.

Being perfect is not part of the master plan down here. I see now that it’s more about embracing and loving our imperfections and realizing that therein lies the true perfection. This can be especially hard for us when we haven’t acknowledged (or resolved) that once we lived as perfect beings and now our experience as human beings is different, yet still we seek out the same perfection. It’s not going to be the same kind of perfect. It’s imperative that we open our eyes to this because then the “affliction” could be transformed into wisdom that we could use to enhance the lives that we have now.

What thoughts or feelings do you have around perfectionism?