I’ve caught myself thinking so much about time to the point of fixating on its speed, totally over-concentrating on how time flies and turn obsessive on trying to grasp exactly how time does this. I’m not a physicist. Anyone?

I’ve also noticed that usually, this kind of thinking does not lead me to great thoughts or good feelings.

Obsessing about time and its movement, in contrast to mine, typically leads me to feeling out of control, feeling ineffective, hopeless and with low energy. Point blank, I end up feeling crappy. So why do I do it?

I am racing the clock. I admit it. I’m trying to beat time. Ever do that, too? There’s a sense of accomplishment, importance, and finiteness to finishing a project of any scale ahead of schedule (a rarity, by the way). Finishing a project on time equals feeling on top the game (what game am I playing, again?). But being behind schedule? As in time running out on me? Not such a great feeling. I feel powerless and beat. The thought of being behind the clock causes a definite shift in not only my mood, but in my overall experience of the present moment.

This post isn’t about time, by the way. It’s about how and what I think about time and how that thinking affects the quality of my experience. Now I’ve had some time, to think about this cause and effect thing and here’s what I’ve figured. Time is time is time. I can’t change the nature of time … not yet achieved any Jedi powers … time just is.

So, what about me?

I can change me and my experience through my thinking, my thoughts. I may not have Jedi powers, but I do have the power of my thoughts.

Here’s the main idea I wanted to share in this post: It’s thought that creates our feelings, moment to moment. It’s not time, or any other possible external situation or phenomena for that matter, that’s responsible for how we feel moment to moment. It’s our internal thoughts. Our thoughts are creating our feelings which in turn create the quality of our experience.

Ta-daa!

These days when I catch myself playing games with time (games that I know I’m wasting my time with but that my ego wants to play anyway) I go straight to my thoughts. Well, actually, first I go to my feelings, which usually look depressed, and then I go straight to my thoughts. Like a good plumber, I shine my flashlight in all areas of my mind, searching for the cluster of thoughts that’s responsible for the “clog”. I work to clear the “cloggy” thoughts by replacing them with clarity (i.e.the reality is that thoughts come and go, when we let them). How do you get clarity? That’ll be a topic for a future post! But, I will leave you with this hint — Music. “Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life. ” – Jean Paul

Next time you’re not feeling on top of the world, think about what thoughts are being entertained inside of your mind, seek to pinpoint what thoughts are creating how you feel in any given present moment, are they darker or lighter thoughts? Do you want to change how you are feeling? Change some of those thoughts! Try using music to do that.

Peace.

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Her statement struck me. Of course I totally understood where she was coming from. For the most part, we’re always tuning our behavior to fit our present situations. Most of us do what’s considered “appropriate”. Now I do believe that’s important, but her statement struck me because it made me question why we do that at all.

Other women in our group were nodding their heads in agreement with what the woman shared – they, too were different people at home than they were at work. I quietly questioned why we feel the need to do that. After the conference, I was still contemplating my question and then I got it: It’s our ego. Our ego feels the need to do this because its job is to manage our persona. The part, where the woman admitted that despite her acting different at home versus work she was still the same person, that part there is the separation that our ego creates for us and within us, in order to protect us presumably from the follies of our own self.

I then started to wonder why we need protection from ourselves? What on earth is ego protecting us from, acting like the parent that has told us at some point in our lives, “you can’t see it now, but trust me, you’ll thank me for this later.” Ego — your own personal PR Manager. Maybe when we were young and getting socialized we needed protection, but as grown adults, why are we still mostly relying on the parental ego to censor us? Are we really that dangerous to ourselves and each other?

Let’s awaken to the reality that ego is a part of who we are, not the sum total of who we are. What happens is that we allow ego to act like it’s all of who we are and as a result, we cut ourselves up into different personas and we compartmentalize our entire life. We categorize ourselves, our behaviors, and put on different masks like different outfits for every day, every situation, and every person. That’s well and good if you wish to live the same way for the rest of your life, and if you don’t mind society at large staying in Sameville. But, if you’re interested in evolving yourself, like I am, then we need new ways of being — more evolved ways of being.

If you’re like me and have a vision for yourself, this kind of self division can get in the way of reaching your dreams. Like Mark 3:25 and Lincoln said, “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” Full alignment and unity within must be there in order to realize visions, and if we are busy creating and maintaining the various personas that we have,  that is a lot of focus taken away from the whole pie, the wholeness of you.

You have an inner knowing that there is a “you” that exists who is visceral, genuine and real. Now is the time to be that “you”, because if you have a vision for yourself and your life but it’s not an easy journey to take, it seems frightening but alluring, it is daunting but you just know you have to fulfill it, you are on a path to wholeness my friend. You will evolve yourself and many others. You are journeying from separation to wholeness. When we are whole, we are one united harmonious being. We are more powerful in Oneness than we are in division.

Do you want to be who you really are meant to be? Do you have desires to be a person that you can admire, look up to, trust and love? Stop perpetuating your various personas. Be your best self daily, in every situation, with every person, in all areas. Don’t be perfect, that will never happen. But practice being your true self, through and through. Align all of your personas and turn them into One being. We are moving towards a reality where we can just be, no need for the masks.

Where in your life are you acting and behaving differently than who you truly feel that you are? How much do you desire what you envision? Start getting whole and take yourself higher than where you are now.

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Sound familiar?

I haven’t been able to formulate any long sentences, let alone a paragraph on my blog, or personal diary. But it’s NOW, this evening, this hour, this moment that is finally the right time for me to share what’s been evolving in me. (Thank God for sacred moments of stillness).

Ki Healing is taking a back seat for now, while I am working on getting myself married and then right after that plunging full forward on beginning a small online craft business. I am starting an online business making sweet, pretty, kind, cute, loving, healing gifts — primarily in the form of jewelry and accessories. I am fully committing myself to the fulfillment of this new birth, so without a doubt, Ki Healing will be affected.

For this lifetime, I am a healing artist, so that means that Ki Healing will still be available for services and I’ll continue to blog on Ki Healing, however, my direct focus will be on my online shop.

Do expect to see changes to Ki Healing’s focus, too. The topics I’ll be blogging about will likely be more about finding your purpose, and transforming yourself little by little in order to reach your dreams! This is a wonderful awesome powerful live journey that we are on, and I am absolutely convinced that every single one of us has a purpose to live out. I’m also determined that if you have a dream or a recurring nagging idea, that you must take action to make it happen. I encourage you to be the archetypal Fool and set foot on the path of the unknown.

I do have plans to bridge Ki Healing and my online gift shop, but as of now, I don’t have a clear vision on how that will be. The Angels have already informed me that when the time is right that will come. I fully trust that.

It may seem that this is sort of random/out of the blue, but the incubation time on this new direction has taken approximately 6 months before any full sentence structure about the idea could even be formulated. I share that because I think it’s important to the process of Becoming (and maybe even to Being) to notice just how long it can take for a feeling to move to an articulation and then to move to a declaration. Depending on what we are dealing with, this time varies, and we owe it to ourselves to give it the time it needs.

p.s. My Angels have been with me on this all the way and yours are with you all the way, too.

Until next time – Love, Listen, Learn, and Be Free.

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