Self Discovery

“Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness” – Katherine Henson

Am I An Empath? 

Dear Courageous One, are you an empath?

One of the reasons Courageous Ones have courage is because they’re not afraid of feelings. Lots of people avoid “the feels” because they can be too uncomfortable. In life, it takes courage to face feelings.

Do you identify with being more comfortable in the realm of feelings and emotions than other people you know? Do you naturally understand the feelings and emotions of others? Do people tend to come to you to express their feelings and emotions? Do you easily go beyond sympathizing and go to putting yourself in other people’s shoes? Have you ever been told “you’re too sensitive”?  Do you sometimes feel as though you can practically feel everything?

That has to do with being an empath. If you’re reading this, I think intuitively you already know you’re an empath and you’re searching for info to validate that.

I didn’t always know that I was an empath. Even when everything added up, I still didn’t really believe it. I wondered, ‘is empath a real thing?’ I thought I might be making my experiences up. That was a very long time ago, when I was learning about my true self. So my purpose today is to validate your experience as an empath because the truth of who you are is always within.  

As an empath you can feel on an expansive level.

Empaths have the ability to put on other people’s feelings. What this means is that they have the ability go beyond just relating to other people’s feelings; it’s that they’re actually able to feel the feelings of other people as though they are their own.

Empaths absorb other people’s emotions and they tend to feel those emotions exponentially. For example, if someone else nearby is feeling sadness an empath will pick up on this energy frequency and take it home with them without realizing. Then when they start to feel sad or they feel like they were happy a moment ago and all of a sudden their own energy shifts to sadness, they wonder why.

It may feel uncomfortable not knowing why you’re experiencing a change of mood or energy because it can catch you off guard. Though, once you realize that it’s your super power you’ll be able to more easily get back to feeling yourself again and being grounded.  

The energy of sadness in a space may be subtle but the empath will still pick it up. Being sensitive to their environment, the empath experiences the sad energy at a higher rate and higher frequency. This is because they are highly attuned to energy.

Empaths have a heightened sense of energy.

Being an empath is similar to that black colored fabric we’ve all worn that picks up lint from everywhere and everything. It’s inevitable that they will get overwhelmed by all the “lint” they pick up. Just like the black fabric that needs a lint remover, the empath needs customized tools to clean up their own energy field from the “lint” that’s left on them.  

As for what those customized tools may be, that’ll be for another dedicated separate post!

While it does sound pretty cool to be highly attuned to energy and frequencies, the “side effects” can be not so cool.

Below are some descriptions of the “side effects” which may not sound like the most optimistic part of being an empath to focus on. But I’d like to shine some light on this part because …

…my deepest intention is that you learn about yourself and love and accept yourself as an empath.

Empowered with the wisdom, knowledge and love of your true self, you will take better care of your vital life force energy and experience spiritual well being here and now.  

One of the “side effects” that an empath may experience is being susceptible to exhaustion, drained of their energy and getting physically sick. This tends to happen as a result of being in loud large busy crowds, being around certain types of personalities and energies or certain places.

Take a concert for example. Being an empath, you may opt out of going to concerts all together. If you do decide to go, you need to do mind your own energy to help protect yourself from feeling sick or tired during and afterwards.

There are certain personality types that can make an empath feel nauseous. They include but aren’t limited to very aggressive loud people, an always “on” high-energy personality, overly charming, big personality types. Different personality types make up different energy qualities. Because the empath is highly attuned to energy, these and other types of energy may easily make them feel overwhelmed, over stimulated and even assaulted.

For the most part empaths tip toward the introverted side of the scale. An introvert might be able to relate. Many of the characteristics of an introvert match up with those of an empath. For example, in psychology the theory goes that introverts are easily stimulated and overstimulated. Compared to extroverts, they’re more sensitive to external stimulation and have higher level of arousal, similar to what an empath experiences.

Many empaths are introverts but that doesn’t mean they’re the same thing. The most important difference between an Introvert and Empath is that being introverted is an inherently biological difference in how people react to external stimuli or certain situations. In empaths, it’s their brains’ Mirror Neuron System that is thought to be hyperactive, according to Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the book “The Empath’s Survival Guide”.

Just think hyperactive compassion? The Mirror Neuron System is a specialized group of cells in the brain that are responsible for compassion and empathy. In empaths, it’s thought to be hyperactive hence why an empath can absorb other people’s energies into their bodies.

Because empaths, like introverts, are sensitive to external stimulation they need time alone to help them recharge.

They will tend to feel physically better in smaller groups of people because it lessens energy drain. It’s imperative that an empath spend time alone to regain their centered strength.

Alone time is non-negotiable.

Any activities in nature or outdoors are always good for them.

As an empath, when you’re in nature you easily and quickly replenish yourself through the universal life force energy that’s flowing freely all around.

Getting out, being in nature near trees, flowers, grass, parks, bodies of water etcetera is another non-negotiable.

High energy activities for an empath will often involve new experiences, adventure, travel, spontaneity, the outdoors and nature. These types of high energy activities are life-giving and replenishing to you. These are things that deep down you’d like to do but maybe haven’t because you’re big heart is busy taking care of others.

Give yourself the gift of that big heart! In other words, be compassionate with yourself and practice the kind of care you give to others on yourself, too.

For those who aren’t empaths this stuff may sound dramatic and maybe like something from the New Age or a millennial stresser.

It can be hard to feel heard and understood by those closest to you. But rest assured, I got you! 🙂

No, friends and family, this isn’t just queen drama NOR is it a WEAKNESS. This is the experience of a person who feels the emotions of others. Furthermore, there are some empaths who can feel the â€œemotion” or energy of spaces and places, too. I’m one of those. How about you?

To your loved ones and close friends you may be considered quiet, unconventional, a free spirit or a little bit different. Empaths are unique, therefore it may be harder to understand or relate to them. But this does not go the other way around.

“Can You feel me?”

The ability to feel others but not necessarily be felt by others can be difficult to experience. This can lead an empath to feel alone, misunderstood or out of place. The gift of being highly attuned to other people’s energy can end up feeling like a burden.

You’re an empath, this is why it’s essential to your way of life that you spend time in nature, spend time meditating, spend time creating art, being physically active and consciously sharing your light. It’s in the acts of doing these activities you will be reciprocated regularly with renewed life force energy and grounding. You will be able to find and feel at home.

Finding and feeling at home is an important practice tool. Whenever you feel out of sorts, out of body, out of your emotions and feeling like you’ve been swept by the current of someone else’s stuff, finding your home base within helps to ground and release the energies of others more easily.

The more you feel at home within yourself, no matter where you are or who you’re with, you find home. It’s easier to know which emotions belong to you you and which ones belongs to others. Then you can start to let these feelings just pass through you instead of holding on to them in your body.

So what do you think? Are are you convinced you’re an empath yet?

If you’re still on the fence or if you have any questions about your experience, go to the comments area and share. When we share our life experiences it helps other Courageous Ones like you and me.

Sharing is caring!

And yes 🙂 I can help you determine whether you’re an empath, if you’re still not sure.

For now I leave you with this: Being an empath is not a weakness. It’s one of the magnificent gifts you give to everyone you meet!

Be you & Be true, Courageous One.

I’m not usually into labels. I usually feel that labeling things can be harmful because our minds go to automatic default and suddenly the mind and thoughts are in a box. So for me, labels can end up being like containers that box up people’s experiences, confining them.  Though, what labels intend to do is define unknowns.  Labels want to be helpful to us through providing us with a definition or framework for something. That being said, I want to introduce a label that could be helpful to you. It can help you embrace more of who you are. It’s called multi-potentiality.

Multipotentiality is an educational and psychological word that describes you if you are gifted with multiple potential. How do you know if you are a multipotential type of person? Before answering that, let’s back up to why I’m covering this in the first place.

Many of the people that I’m so lucky to meet and know, are brilliant people gifted in many diverse areas who aren’t always aware of their special qualities for lots of reasons. Much of my purpose is to help women discover  for themselves just how truly gifted they are. They don’t realize their gifts because they’ve hardly been acknowledged for them and instead tend to feel sad, depressed, bored or overwhelmed with their life (which includes their work) because deep inside they know they should be doing something else or living another way.

So many multi-talented women are feeling stuck because they’ve found themselves in a box when they really want to have meaningful joyful lives. I totally get that. For a long time I was always trying to fit myself into boxes. I thought I had to. I thought it was the only way. Since those days, I’ve discovered that there are many ways to a meaningful, joyful, loving life. Sometimes, one of the ways is to get real with yourself and realize that you are not one to be in the box. It’s alright if you’re not for the box.

So the reason for this post on multipotentiality is to help women like you –  independent, savvy,  creative and resourceful women with multiple interests and passions discover that you are built to be exactly who you are. And that it’s something to feel really good about.  If you can identify with being a multipotential, start to swim with the current instead of swimming upstream. Life is hard enough already. Learning about yourself and how you can create optimal conditions for yourself  will prove to be very helpful.

How do you know if you are a multipotential?

• Do you have or know someone who has many interests across different areas?
• Have you ever told anyone or has anyone ever told you, “Jack of all trades, master of none?”
• Is it hard for you to choose on what you want to spend your time doing because you have so many options? And while you like having  many options sometimes it can be stressful deciding which to spend time in?
• Do you ever wonder if you have or ever had ADHD?
• Do you ever get  bummed out when you think you’re not doing everything you can do, like you’re not employing all of your abilities?
•  Do you feel like because you can’t focus on one thing, you must be confused?
• Have you ever considered yourself a Renaissance women?
• Are you or someone you know intently and intensely curious?
• Do you feel like you could pretty much learn anything?
• Do you love to tinker around?

 

The truth is, multipotential is defined as the state of having many exceptional talents, any one or more of which could make for a great career for that person. Gifted children often (though of course not always) have multipotentiality. Their advanced intellectual abilities and their intense curiosity make them prime candidates for excelling in multiple areas. – Tamara Fisher in Education Week

Everyone always tells you it’s better to focus in one direction. It’s better to be good at one thing than not very good at a bunch of things. But for a multipotential person, there is true love in learning and expressing many things. The idea of it being “better” to be good at one thing versus not very good at a bunch of things has always struck me as very black and white, narrow thinking.

Who says that if you’re into a bunch of things  you’re not going to be very good at any of them? More importantly, why does being “good, great, or perfect” matter so much?

For a multipotential, the pursuit  isn’t so much about excellence as it is about wonder, exploration, expression, growth and even adventure. I’ve found it a big relief to forego the measuring of excellence and to learn how to be in the present moment with whatever I’m doing, experiencing enjoyment and feeling alive.

Having so many interests that you can pursue and actually be pretty darn good at can feel like a blessing and a curse. But stress more on how it’s a blessing.

Here’s What You Can Do 

Journaling Exercise: Ask yourself, “how are all my interests and ideas a blessing to me?”  “How might this be a blessing to others?”  Take the time to sit and ponder these two question for about 20 – 30 minutes and journal what you come up with.

Spiritual Practice: Practice believing that you are super- blessed to have so many fruitful ideas, interests and abilities with (what I call) Ping Pong Think. For example, pretend your mind is the ping pong table and your playing the house which is your mind, okay?

Instead of accepting a cursed mentality “serve” a blessed mentality right back to your mind, the way it is in ping pong. It’ll be like:

Cursed Mentality: “What’s wrong with me? I can’t settle into anything for the life of me. I’m lame for not being able to be as single minded as my friends. Maybe I need to be more like them. I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

Blessed Mentality: “There is nothing wrong with me. This is the way God Universe has designed me. I guess I’m unique because I’m curious about life. I want to spend my days truly living. I’m energized and my mind is illuminated. I’m free to explore life and myself. I know that’s what I want to do.”

Tip Time!

Tip#1:  Keep practicing Ping Pong Think and you’ll start to believe, know, and trust that you are blessed to be this way, not cursed. You are gifted with the specific way you light up.

Tip #2: Keep lighting yourself up! It’ll enrich your life and the life of others who know you.

Tip #3: Go with the current and you’ll start to see a pattern of interconnectedness in all that you do. Don’t worry, there is definitely a single thread running through all of your pursuits, but you must learn to swim with the current not upstream.

Tip #4: If you’re stressed or overwhelmed about finding your purpose, it won’t matter so much where you start but that you start. Remember: there is a reason you’re designed in this special way. So, take the road trip of your life and set out to discover what all your potential is. You’ll find meaning, joy, peace and love and as if that weren’t enough, you’ll get that deep sense of purpose you’re looking for.

 

Three Ways You Can Start Living On Purpose Now:

• Accept that you are not one to be in the box (and that is a wonderful thing!)
• Accept that you are blessed to be able to be pretty darn good at anything you do.
• Pursue your multiple interests right now (pull the plug on the boob tube and play the ukulele!)

 

And one last thing I’d like to leave you with … live in joy, always be you and believe that you’re destined.