Spiritual Wellness

Your Life Force Guide

Self Growth & Development

5 Essential Ways to Replenish Your Spirit

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Essential Ways To Replenish Your Spirit, such as drinking tea, journaling, quiet alone time.

5 Essential Ways to Replenish Your Spirit

There are times in our lives when our plates are full and we are overwhelmed. There may be many contributing factors or it may be a single event. Add to this that our culture doesn’t sanction taking time away from work to collect ourselves inevitably adds strain to our composure and well-being.

A symptom of finding ourselves in a place of overwhelm or in an uninspired state is that we begin to disconnect from our core self. We start to lose touch with our essence.

You may continue to do the things that are required of you, dutifully going to work and handling the responsibilities of your life but you’re not fully engaged. You’re tired. If you’re being honest, you actually feel exhausted but you have to keep going and keep doing. There’s too much to keep up with and falling behind will feel worse. So you push yourself, because what else can you do?

The pushing and pulling of your energy does add up. Actually, it’s subtracting. Your energy, your beautiful life force, is depleting. You haven’t been able to fully recover yourself. In fact, you might be wondering how. How to replenish your energy?

Hey courageous one, I get it. Before you read on, and you’ll definitely want to, it’s important to let go of any judgments you have of yourself over this. Courageous ones live fully. That means you’re riding the many highs and lows that life has to offer. There can be a lot to ride, no doubt. Acknowledge yourself for this. I acknowledge it. That’s why I call you courageous ones!

Here are 5 basic and essential ways to replenish your spirit and get your vitality back. ⬇️

Just for this moment, choose to let go of any judgments you may have of forgetting who you are and what you’re made of. Instead, begin with self compassion to restore your life force energy. So let’s begin!

1. Self Compassion

There’s a lot of talk about self compassion in the spiritual wellness arena. This is great but I do wonder if we know what compassion is. To keep it simple, when you have self compassion you notice your own suffering and you’re moved by that suffering specifically through your heart center. You feel a warmth, a caring and a desire to help.

You can create a healing environment within by showing kindness and being gentle toward yourself. The act of self compassion is a sacred space that can hold what you’re experiencing, how you’re feeling and how you’re responding. It gives these emotions, feelings and thoughts somewhere to be instead of being pushed down or ignored.

How might you show yourself warmth and kindness? 

One very simple way is by being intentional about having self compassion. In other words, be deliberate about it. For example, when you’re feeling tired acknowledge it.

By acknowledging how you feel, you’re saying, “oh, hello tired feeling, it’s you” instead of wishing you didn’t feel that way, not giving two f’s about it and carrying on anyway. This response can actually cause more energy depletion because it’s in contradiction to what is. The feelings that come up for us, in our hearts, minds and bodies are trying to communicate insight to us.

Have self compassion, listen and let be what is.

So go ahead and try on some self compassion. Not only do you deserve to treat yourself that way but you also deserve to fill yourself up again with what feels good!

2.Take care of yourself

In this instance, taking care of yourself has to do with feeding your spirit and soul. It’s about lighting yourself up and lightening up!

When you’re disconnected to your core self, you’re also disconnected from your spirit and soul. There may be sadness about this as it may feel like something is missing or like something has been lost.

To restore ourselves we need to restore connection to divinity. This includes connecting authentically to one another, but also to something deep within ourselves and to something bigger than ourselves, too.

This divine connection is life giving. So taking care of yourself is about you maintaining this connection and allowing this care to feed the parts of you that need nourishment. It’s about allowing yourself to receive and about optimizing harmony within yourself.

Think about it. If your spirit is depleted, who’s in the driver seat?

Oh dear. It’s your ego.

The thing with the ego is that it tends to overdrive. Because ego is focused on our survival it takes over, shutting out the whispers of spirit and the callings of soul.

How can you lovingly counter the ego?

The answer is: Take care of yourself, courageous one. Feed the parts of you that need nourishment. Take a moment now to breathe into this question —

What feeds your spirit? 

Close your eyes, take a slow deep breath and on a piece of paper jot down the first thing that comes to mind when you think about what makes you feel lighter and brighter. If nothing comes clearly to you, it’s okay, simply imagine what would feed your spirit.

There’s no need to feel bad if you don’t exactly know what feeds your spirit.

To be honest, it’s simple … It’s what makes you feel good.

So maybe it’s something like baking cookies or having a walk on the beach. Maybe it’s doing some art or calling a good friend. Whatever simple thing it is that makes you feel good, you’re taking care of yourself because it’s nourishing to your soul. It’s grounding and brings “home” to you. And your overactive ego can have a chance to relax, too.

❤️‍🔥 Are you ready for a little challenge? Courageous One, I challenge you to exercise one way of taking care of yourself, within the next 3 days. What’s one thing you will do that will light you up? 

The next thing is to be conscious about it, doing it slowly, like an active meditation. This brings us to the third basic essential practice to replenish your spirit.

3. Go Slow

Replenish your spirit with intentional slowness. So much of the time, most of us are rushing around. It’s such a common mode of operating that you may not even notice it. Because daily life is packaged to fit into blocks of time, it’s not a surprise if you feel like you’re in a race against the clock.

Time pressure is a real thing and it fuels exhaustion. Sometimes the thought of doing your day makes you tired, before you even get out of bed. Feeling this way every day leads to overwhelm and zaps your vital life force energy.

“But how do I stop time?”

The answer is: you slow down. You do what you enjoy with intentional slowness, like a moving meditation. You move slowly on purpose and you’re being intentional about spending the time you do have NOT in a rush.

If you really want to, you can even try this with things you don’t enjoy, like doing laundry. Though starting with what you enjoy is easier because you actually want to have more time in that activity.

Spending quality time doing what you enjoy — like pulling your oracle cards, reading a book or even choosing what to watch on Netflix — in a slow way gives you a feeling that there’s more time than you think.

Going slow anchors us to stay present in the moment. Being present and fully engaged in the moment converts into a feeling of abundance, an abundance of time.

As going slowly supports you in being present, the added bonus here is that you’re practicing the art of mindfulness which positively impacts your spiritual and overall well-being.

If you’re not sure about this, try it for yourself. But my two asks are that you attempt it earnestly and that you keep an open heart and mind. One more thing — let me know how it goes!

4. Stay away from what’s not supportive 

When you’re working on replenishing your spirit, staying away from what is not supportive is very important. Being around supportive people and places will help you to stay “up”. If that’s not what you’re feeling from the places and spaces you occupy, a break may be called for.

Being around unsupportive people long enough eventually wears on you. You grow weary because you aren’t supported in your personal growth. It starts to feel like you’re not sure what’s “you” and what’s them. This is especially true for empathic and codependent people.

❤️‍🔥Taking a designated break from unsupportive people and environments is an important and healthy boundary you will need to take if you’re serious about replenishing your spirit, and re-establishing your connection with self.

You may not be able to get away for too long from unsupportive people and places, but the main thing is to limit exposure as much as possible. As you’re committed to replenishing your spirit, be strategic if you need to be.

Replenishing our spirit requires us to be loving towards ourselves and that will often look like putting yourself first, when it’s critical.

As you draw clear lines in the sand, you’re affirming and asserting who you are. It can be scary and it’s also an empowering process. You’re gaining vitality, exercising personal power — your unique life force energy that makes you who you are.

Staying away from what’s not supportive can look like: placing limits around your time, practicing the art of saying ‘No’, or spend time on a fun new hobby or activity.

How will you stay away from what’s not supportive? Share in the comments below. You never know when it can help others!

 5. Rest

Simply rest.

When you find yourself asking “how do I do that?” about replenishment, it’s a pretty reliable sign that your rest is long overdue. You’ve been going and going, pushing away the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that sneak up because there’s not a solution for them in sight.

How can you rest when what you’ve known is no longer working or what you thought was right isn’t right anymore? That’s more like a recipe for restlessness.

It’s hard to be at peace when a role you once agreed to play is not agreeing with you now. It’s exhausting…and sometimes it can be challenging to recognize what the issue even is. You may feel a little lost or have a diminished sense of purpose, wondering “what’s really wrong?”

This is when our centers are ungrounded. Our vision is foggy. Stuff’s unclear and uncertain. We’re weary. We cry.

Courageous one, this is the time for a good rest. This is not like a 30 minute nap. This kind of rest is more like a full cycle.

❤️‍🔥 The kind of rest I’m talking about has the power to lower your heart rate, lower your blood pressure and alleviate anxiety. This rest slows and quiets you down to a point where you can listen to your own inner knowledge and wisdom.

With enough rest, you’re able to fill up, start to see the bigger picture again and even connect with your own big vision. Your perspective gets re-calibrated. You can think of this as a sacred resting period.

Like toddlers, there’s resistance to rest, but we especially need it during times of awakening and growth (and trust, this is a time of awakening and growth).

Rest really does wonders but first you’ve got to allow yourself to rest.

How will you integrate rest into your life now?

Maybe naps on the weekends? How about changing your daily schedule to get to sleep earlier or maybe spending quiet time reading spiritual text in solitude.

Whatever way you decide to spend rest, just remember to keep it going. You deserve to receive the gifts of rest as you replenish your spirit. No doubt there will be challenges to committing to rest. But don’t give up on it!

I hope you find something from this post that you can take away plus take action on. Even though you may not have all the answers or even the questions you’re “supposed to” ask, even though you’re feeling “off” lately, it’s more important to take committed actions that will carry you through the transitions you’re embarking and undergoing.

This is what spiritual wellness in action looks like. 💗🤗

Until next time …

Be You & Be True

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How To Keep Your Spirits Up When Life Comes Crashing Down

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Woman on rocky mountain top showing strength keeping her spirits up
Photo by Julian Santa Ana on Unsplash

How To Keep Your Spirits Up When Life Comes Crashing Down

Is your life dumping on you at the moment? Are you wondering when your life is going to get on a better track? Keep reading because this is why I wrote about how to keep your spirits up when life gets challenging.

Life can really suck sometimes and it’s natural to feel like you’re the only one having it hard. 

You’re not alone, Courageous One. 

I feel like I’m always saying the line above but for some it bears repeating, especially for those whose paths are marked by challenges; those who are on roads less traveled (and not necessarily b/c it’s intended); those who feel a little different than others, a little bit on the outside you could say. It really can feel like you’re alone. But the key word is “feel”.

Feelings fluctuate all day long, moment to moment, day to day. Some feelings stay with us longer than others. Feelings follow our thoughts. If I’m being honest, the idea for writing this post came from my personal experience. This how-to post goes for me too! All this in mind, I want to reassure you: you’re not alone in the way you feel.

Question:

What’s going on for you right now? I mean, what’s happening in your life right now that’s got you down? Or maybe it’s more like what’s NOT happening that’s making life go sideways?

Take a moment to put your response into a sentence or two. Say it silently, say it out loud or write it down. 

💛 💛 💛 💛

Life is challenging you. I hear you. 

Yes. It does suck, it hurts and can be downright painful. What mountain before you must you climb? 

Do you question why you’re the one who has to climb? Do you doubt whether you can make it to the summit? Worried about how you’re going to get through this challenging time? Losing sleep at times? Are you working yourself up and burning out? 

If you can relate to any of this, give yourself a chance to breathe. Go on, take a deep breath … inhaling slowly. Hold your breath there for just a sec. Now, let go, slowly exhaling. 

I invite you to slow down for this moment in time and learn about:

5 WAYS YOU CAN KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP WHEN LIFE COMES CRASHING DOWN.

The Obstacle Is The Path

zen proverb

1. One of the most important things to stick with is being vigilant about what you’re consuming, content-wise.

When you’re listening to the radio on your way to work pay attention to what you’re listening to. Is it helping you mentally to get your day started on the right foot? If it’s not helping to lift your spirit, change the channel or just turn it off and whistle or hum instead. 

When you’re taking a shower, put on a positive podcast, play your favorite empowering music or meditate on the act of cleanliness. 

Don’t get caught up in the news. I understand you want to be informed and stay abreast of the ongoing politics or your local community news, but when it starts to be something you do, day in and day out, mind this turning into a habit. 

If you’re getting into the latest news headlines regularly, visiting your favorite news outlets online, subscribing to news summaries delivered straight to your inbox, scrolling through your FB feed, picking up the newspaper, listening to talk radio all day … it’s time to switch it up. 

If you’re watching a lot of negative television, like crime shows or paranormal stuff, even mindless programming like reality tv, it’s time to switch it up.

What are you subscribing to or tuning into regularly that is less than uplifting, empowering or life-giving? 

I’ll be dead honest about my answer. Don’t you judge me. 😛 It’s those alien documentaries or the conspiracy theory ones, too. 😳 So easy to binge on and so bad for my vibe. I CUT IT. 

You know what it is that lowers your vibes and does not enhance your spirit. Give yourself a boost instead. CUT IT.

2. Get picky about who you’re spending time with and how you’re spending it.  

Let me ask you this: Who’re you hanging with? What’re you all doing? 

Hey look, I’m not trying to get all into your business, but as your friendly energy management guide, have you stopped to think about your quality time and how it affects your vibes? Your spirit?  

For example, are you hanging with peeps from work every week, on Zoom, having happy hours and dinner, talking about the same ole stuff — work, work and complaining about colleagues? That can’t be too uplifting. Sure, it’s social and may work to get your mind off things briefly, but alcohol consumption combined with complaining can do more numbing than it can to empower and lift your spirits. 

Maybe you’re hanging with your sister. She is your sis! Of course you adore her but have you been honest with yourself about how much of a spoiled brat she can be? She expects you to listen to her  woes but then interrupts and gets easily distracted when it’s time for you to share.

Honestly, you probably deserve more support than that, especially when your life feels like the world’s on your shoulders and you’re trying to keep your spirits up to meet your challenges. 

Instead of receiving empowerment or the light-hearted laughs you need, you’re getting bogged down in other people’s dramas. 

What? No. Just no. 

This is a good time to let sis know that you could really use some personal time to rest, relax and rejuvenate. Now that is some quality time. 

What if you’re hanging a lot with your family — your partner and your kids? 

Of course you’re hanging with them, that’s your pack. Maybe it looks something like:

You’re going out, doing shopping together, at home you’re watching the kids’ favorite shows (is there anything you want to watch?), you’re taking the family dog for walks (why are you the only one walking Pup?), you’re having lots of one-sided conversations with your Honey about all their happenings (wishing you could be felt, heard and understood a little more so right now).

There’s no doubt you belong to your pack but considering the challenges you’re facing right now, it’s a good idea to check in and ask yourself if the time you’re spending with them, including how you’re spending it, is the best thing for YOU right now.

Maybe you need to spend a little time away from them, intentionally doing something just for you. What does your intuition say you need?

3. Practice your spirituality. Get spiritual. 

I believe that spiritual wellness is the heart of wellness. So of course I think this one is essential. When life feel’s like a harsh dry desert, no doubt you’re thirsty. What you need most is refreshing water!

The refreshing water I speak of represents your spirituality. Your spirituality is the life-giving, ever-flowing well that lives within you and within all of us. It’s what makes us resilient. 

Our spirituality makes us resilient.

So here you are, a spiritual being having a human experience. And at the moment, your human experience is less than optimal, but the spiritual being in you isn’t bound by the same outward conditions.

Then how to draw from the life-giving ever flowing well that lives within?  

Get spiritual. Tap into your true nature! Practicing your true nature or practicing your spirituality will help you experience relief from the rough waves of life. It will provide you with refuge from harsh conditions. It will provide you with resilience for the weariness of the climb. 

What gives you life? What fills you up with love? What pumps sunshine through your body? 

Do you pray? Meditate or Journal? What do you do to draw inward? 

Approach those things like rituals and perform them with reverence. 

Then go to your heart and identify the feeling of gratitude. What are you grateful for? 

I used to have a really hard time identifying what gratitude felt like. Even now, it’s not an easy feeling for me to hold onto.  But at least I know what it feels like. This part is really important because when we’re experiencing a dry season (think lack or drought) in our lives, experiencing gratitude will redirect us to our true nature. In being able to identify the feeling of gratitude, we’re sure to be supported by the abundance of our true nature. Gratitude directs us, both in energy and focus, to the ever-flowing water within. It’s there that we find what we need in the moment. 

Despite what may be happening outside of us, when we intently practice our spirituality, our spirits are lifted! What’s happening around and outside of us doesn’t have to take bring us down. Commit to really trying to do this one. Notice the difference it makes.

4.  Make it a point to enjoy something, to laugh.

Do you find that your thoughts keep circling back to all the things that are going wrong right now? Is it hard to relax because you’re worried about things in this situation that you have no control over? Is it sometimes hard to concentrate on the present moment because in the back of your mind you feel anxious about the challenges before you? 

If you can relate then it’s time to trade that energy for more uplifting energy like … joy and delight.  😂 👍❤️✨

When we enjoy something, we’re taking pleasure in it. It’s giving us a feeling of happiness and satisfaction. 

Laughter is a kind of joy. Like pleasure, it makes us feel happiness. That’s why it’s a very good medicine for lightening a heavy load.

Don’t let the heaviness of your load steal the lightness of your being. Both coexist. Isn’t it true that in life there is suffering and joy? 

Then there are sun showers — a weather paradox, when it’s pouring rain and sunny at the same time. We marvel at this magical weather paradox which also happens to be a perfect recipe for rainbows! 🌈

Even when it feels like your light is being dimmed by troubles, you still have the ability to be bright. Like sun showers, you have magical rainbow producing abilities, too. The way to access that is to be * deliberate * about enjoying something every. single. day. 

One of the easiest ways to make sure that you do this is to tickle your funny bone. One of my favorite things to watch for a quick (and strategic) dose of laughter is the show Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. The title alone makes me smile. 😁 Two of my favorite things in one sentence? And it’s on Netflix? Come on. That’s like a perfect recipe for a rainbow!

What’s something that you can turn to that’s practically guaranteed to make you laugh? What’s something simple and easy that you always enjoy? 

Use these things as necessary tools to keep you going and to keep your spirits up when it’s pouring. Be deliberate about them. 

5. Keep an open heart, keep love close.

Love is the highest frequency there is. So if you’re to keep your spirits up it makes a lot of sense to be in the frequency of love. Keeping your heart open means keeping this energy center open for love to flow. 

When we’re mostly in our analytical mind we’re over thinking. Over thinking usually ties up our energy in the past and the future. We’re thinking of stuff from earlier in the day or thinking too much about what’s going to happen a week from now. 

We’re not free to experience the spontaneity of the present moment. The more analytical thinking we’re engaged in (lots of prefrontal cortex processing) the less available we are to hang out in the present, just being and doing. We try to control what’s out of our control, causing more suffering. 

Meanwhile, hanging out in the present just being, just doing our thing makes it so much easier to feel love. We are in the flow. Our hearts are open and we are free. We can feel love freely, we have no qualms and we are okay at the present moment. 💖🧘🏽🤗🙏

Because our hearts are open, at any moment we can be in love. It hits you like, “Aww, just look at the adorable little puppy playfully walking with its owner, I love it.” Or when your heart melts as you spot an elderly couple holding hands. So sweet. 

Given life’s challenges right now, you know how easy it is to feel downtrodden. You could use some assurance and insurance. The assurance is love and the insurance is maintaining your heart connection. Even though you may feel emotions like resentment, bewilderment or feeling like a victim those feelings aren’t going to take over and stay. Love is too much of a greater force. When it is let in, it helps you stay afloat and keep your vibes high. ✨

I leave you with this, courageous friend: Consciously keep your heart open so that you allow the strongest, highest frequency, force of nature, * LOVE *, to flow through you and heal your situation. 

I have faith in you. 

I hope you found encouragement, support and how to keep your spirits up when life’s got you down. Just remember, this too shall pass Courageous One, because one thing’s for sure — everything in life is temporary. 

Until next time,

Be you & Be true…

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Becoming Aware of Self Comparison: Is Comparing Yourself Hurting You?

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Becoming Aware of Self Comparison: Is Comparing Yourself Hurting You?

Whenever I compare myself to others, it usually leaves me feeling bad. Rarely does it leave me feeling good. 

Feeling good is when I’m comparing myself to someone I admire and respect. They have demonstrable traits that I can learn from. They are healthy examples for me. They are visual representations of what’s admirable and an aspiration. Who they are does not make me feel like I’m less or that I’m not good enough. 

The times I feel bad are when I’m comparing myself to someone who I don’t even relate to.

Here’s what I mean: Superficially, I may relate to the person. For example, say they identify as a female, like I do.  Or say they identify as a woman and a Latina, again like I do. Or say they are a similarly aged latina woman… This could be 🤩🤩 Eva Mendes! Yeah. I’m comparing myself to the model and business woman, Eva Mendes (who’s married to Ryan Gosling). 

I scroll through her images and think, “why can’t I be as beautiful or as successful as she is?” “Hey Girl, why can’t I be married to Mr. Handsome Movie Star Ryan Gosling?” “Why is my life this one and not that one?”

I soo wish I could have her life! If only…

Hold on. Alert! This is what falling into a comparison trap starts to look like and nah, nope; it doesn’t feel so good. 😵

Can you relate, Courageous One?

If I’m honest, I really don’t see myself in Eva Mendes except for on the surface level. She’s a woman, she’s Latina, she’s around the same age as me and obviously a big fan of Ryan Gosling; I am too. 🥰 But know what? That’s about it. So why am I comparing myself to her?

Why do we compare ourselves?

The science says that we compare ourselves to know how we measure up. Basically, it’s to know how we’re doing. 

There’s this theory in social psychology. It’s called Social Comparison Theory and it was brought forth by this 1954 psychologist named Leon Festinger.  He hypothesized that we have this basic need to evaluate ourselves because at the root of it, we’re trying to manage uncertainty and we’re trying to define ourselves.

The theory proposes that we can’t define ourselves without being in relation to someone else. It basically says that we actually need other people to help us define who we are. 

With regards to uncertainty, we’re trying to reduce it, because we really don’t like uncertainty. Doing the research helps us reduce the uncertainty of how we’re doing and so we evaluate ourselves against others for the data.  

We all have this drive; it’s an element of the brain’s social cognition network and it can be traced to an evolutionary need to protect ourselves and assess threats. 

Here’s the way I see it. We’re all trying to control our lives and circumstances in order to protect ourselves and stay on guard of any potential threats to our sense of safety.

In daily modern life, one way we do this is by comparing ourselves to other people in order to know where we stand. Can you imagine that? When you make comparisons of yourself, the root of it is that you’re attempting to protect yourself and stay on guard. How human of us!

In the areas where we feel uncertainty, we evaluate how we measure up. When we assess the “threat”, we’re actually assessing how well we’re doing compared to others. We gather the data because then we’re able to define ourselves. For example, “if Eva Mendes can have a baby at 40, I can too. I’m not less fertile than she is…I’m active, I’m youthful, I’m healthy. I’m OK. I’m good to go.” See that?

  1. I’m gathering data through comparing myself to somebody else and now
  2. I’m able to define myself.
Wait, so I’m not the only one comparing myself?  What a relief 😌.

I’ve been feeling bad about the social comparison that I do. I’ve considered it an embarrassing personality trait that I could never rise above. And oh how easily my mind slips into that mode! Ugh 😞. I hate the yucky feelings that come with comparing oneself. They’re so disempowering. For example, deep down you think you don’t have what they have so because of that you feel like a failure.

How true is this? I know you know what I mean.

I must say though, learning that we all compare ourselves to others and that it’s pretty much something built into us has been useful to me in creating more awareness around when I do it. That awareness tells me that although it may be something built in, I don’t need to feed it. Especially if it doesn’t serve me.

Think about it for just a sec. When was the last time you became aware that you were comparing yourself? What if …

It may have been only yesterday that you checked out someone else’s craft work and thought, “If only I could have fill- in-the-blank, then I would be so awesome.” (As though you aren’t now) Or…

Another time, you look at someone’s social media post about how amazing their career is right when you’re smack dab in the trenches of questioning your own career path. (But everyone’s path is unique)

Maybe recently you learn that a friend of yours is so excited about their newly purchased Tesla … and you’re still driving a fossil fueled car that’s more than 5 years old. (Maybe it’s not a Tesla, but it’s good to have wheels when you need them)

How great do you feel in those moments?

Chances are you feel reduced in some way. It can be a subtle feeling, too. You start out genuinely interested in how someone is doing. You check in or reach out. You feel good about the spark of connection. We’re social beings, right? You’re being social.

Then as you listen to, read or watch their latest updates, it’s a bunch of “Sooo great! Soooo fun! Sooo amazing!” stuff from them. And you’re left with this kind of starry-eyed but punched in the chest feeling. How can everyone else’s life be so perfect and not yours?

That wholesome feeling you started out with quickly sinks down into another sensation –a less vibrant one. 🥴 You may not even notice because it’s so subtle, but there’s a shift in your energy. You feel a bit low and you end up wishing you hadn’t bothered to reach out or check in.

Try to answer this honestly: Has comparing yourself ever thrown you off balance? I mean like where you start to feel unhappy with your life, your journey or your self? Has it ever made you feel like you were not enough?  

With the rise of social media, social comparison is rampant. It’s important to our wellness to be aware that social media actually facilitates the comparing of ourselves. It makes it easier and even addictive to do. It can get to the point of being toxic. When you compare yourself to others, you’re not being kind to yourself.  When you’re doing it A LOT, it’s toxic.

Comparing yourself is harmful to your well-being.

Iyanla Vanzant says, “Comparison is an act of violence against the self”. The comparison trap makes you feel bad about who you are and where you are on your path. It makes you feel like you’re not measuring up and therefore, you’re not good enough. This is damaging to your self-esteem. It leads to self doubt and feeling insecure. Your self-confidence diminishes and you start to resent the person you’re comparing yourself to. 

“Comparison is the death of joy” – Mark Twain

Yes, we all do it. We all compare ourselves. Still, we need to understand that falling into the comparison trap stands in the way of our spiritual well-being. It holds us back from being able to experience the joy that’s there for us in the present moment, wherever we find ourselves.

Your spiritual wellness is your fountain of life force, Courageous One. You must look after it. You don’t need to feel bad about yourself. With this perspective, if you’re serious about feeling good and being well, there can be a healing space created.

The healing space that’s created is between You, the one making the comparisons and You, the observer of that behavior. Space is important because you can give yourself a chance to slow down what’s happening. You can observe that you’re engaging in comparisons and you can check in with how it’s making you feel.

You can slow down even more and create healthy options for yourself, such as: Being actively aware you’re comparing yourself and see it for what it is. There’s no judging or hooking into it. You simply move on like clouds passing in the sky. Or you can ask yourself, “can making this comparison be something positive for me? How so?”

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” – Zen Shin

In other words, Courageous One, you have everything you need within yourself to walk the path that’s uniquely yours. Like flowers that just bloom, you can too. God made you enough. It’s not necessary to compare yourself to find out how to define and measure yourself.

Take care of your life force, conserve your energy, define and measure yourself by your own strengths and values. Because the crazy thing is, we’re not here to be anyone else but ourselves. ❄❄❄

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5 Reasons Why Self Love Is Essential

By

Portrays Self Love

I never thought about loving myself. Have you?

Not too long ago, my life started to take a nose-dive. We’re talking a downward spiral. I had this knowing that somehow, I was losing the lifestyle I’d been living for awhile. Like it was time to let it go. 😧

In a dark night of the soul, I could actually see more clearly than I’d been able to see in quite a while. I could see that everything I was doing was motivated to take care of others, first. I put everyone around me ahead of myself. It was: first take care of others, first make sure everyone else is good, first love others and then maybe me.

Man. What the heck happened? I fell in between the cracks.

How? I didn’t even notice. 😔

I realized that I was thinking, doing and going for everyone else and what they wanted. It never hit me that doing that was tipping me way over my edge, until it did hit me. I was losing my way. I hit a wall and got burned out.

The crazy thing is, before that time, I considered myself a pretty unlikely candidate for burnout. I mean, for nearly the last 20 years my mantra has been to “feel good and be well”. It still is. How could this have happened?

As a healer, taking care of  soul, mind, body and spirit is pretty much non-negotiable. Tending to these aspects of myself is just so integral to my purpose. Again, how could this have happened? The irony of it all is that despite being a wounded healer, I hadn’t considered my healing journey to be one of self love. Self care, maybe. But love? 🤷‍♀️ 🤔

Well, I guess that’s why they call it “Earth School”. Nowadays, loving myself is central to my spiritual wellness — my well-being.

It may have taken losing me (the ‘me’ I put last 🤨) to love me, but now I can clearly see how essential having self love is. Hooray! It’s as essential as pausing to breath. Feels. So. Good. I can now offer myself support the way I’ve done for others (and still do! 🙂)

In the current pandemic, we’ve all been forced to slow down our lives and re-evaluate what is essential to us. It’s made it feel easier and more apropos to love myself and give myself care. But there are still moments when I think, “ Is self love really that essential?” because right now people are suffering, people are dying, and the economy is entering a severe recession. ❔ 🙋

The answer I always get is: Yes! Self love is essential. Especially now. 

Just in case you or I come down with momentary amnesia and think, 🤔 “Self love? Who needs it?” 🤷 I offer you:

5 significant reasons why self love is essential. 

1. Self love is essential because without it you can’t really grow; you stunt your own growth.

If you think of yourself like a garden, the love that we provide to ourselves is just like water to a garden. It’s the proper nourishment needed so the garden can thrive and bloom fully 🌻. Without the proper nourishment (water=self love) the garden is starved, working hard just to survive. The garden can’t grow to its potential. For the garden within us, our growth is stunted. 

What is reflected in your garden? 

Stop and consider how everything is about growth, creation and change. Then think about self love as the proper nourishment for those things. Self love is essential to us in order to fully bloom and thrive plus to keep things sustainable. Luckily, Self love is an expansive energy. Therefore, practicing it widens our stream. We stretch. We change. We grow. 🙌 😊

2. Self love is essential because it gives you a way to have a fulfilling life. 

How? 

There’s more acceptance in your life when you have love for yourself. This acceptance helps you act in ways that are being helpful to yourself. 

You can find what’s good under any circumstance, because that is a favorable act towards yourself. You’re grateful for what is (not for what is not) and you trust things are naturally unfolding in your favor. You have a sense of trust and gratitude for where you’re at in life. 

So, yeah maybe today did really suck and you know you fell short of where you wanted to be but then you lovingly say to yourself, “I’m gonna get this. Tomorrow is another day. ” For today, you ease into letting it go.

You find what’s good, and there’s a lot of good there.  It’s self love that lets your eyes see the gems!

This is why self love is essential to creating a fulfilling life. 😘

3. Self love is essential because you inspire others to self love, too.

Self love is an expansive energy, so within us it has the power to impact not only us but everyone we connect with. 

The compassion we hold for ourselves gives us the ability to hold the energy for those who may need compassion in their lives (and that’s a lot of us)!

You’re someone who truly cares. You take care of yourself and in your own way, you take care of the people around you, too. You’re willing to be vulnerable but you also keep healthy boundaries.

You’re shining that self love ray of light, even if it’s subtle. Just like laughter and joy spreads, so does the love and compassion you have for yourself. You’re creating a ripple effect.

Self love, starting with you, is essential in order for it to expand beyond you. This is important because it’s creating a more loving and compassionate world. And the truth is, we all really need self love. (📢 Heyyy, shout out to my peeps — my empath and recovering codependent friends, 💓)

4. Self love is essential because it’s an aid to having healthy self-esteem and self worth.

Without self love, you’re prone to being a human doormat, a people-pleaser and a perfectionist. 

None of that works out favorably 😞! Being those things is painful and wilting. They weaken your life force energy. 

But here’s what is life force giving: 🌼 SELF LOVE

When you love yourself, you honor yourself. You won’t stand for people stepping on you. You don’t need to kiss so much ass just to people please and make them happy. You don’t need everyone to like you. You don’t need to be perfect. That’s not real. 

What is real is how real you get when you love yourself enough to be who you are, brilliant and flawed. Love is an expansive energy. It creates the necessary room within our heart to love even our shadow side, right alongside our brilliance.

The ability to love our whole make-up, gives our self esteem and self worth a power boost. Meeting (and accepting) ourselves right where we are, flaws and all, builds on our self esteem and sense of value through the power of our own love.

How are you showing yourself real love?

5. Self love is essential because you need it to be able to restore and heal.

Having self love is like building a special reserve of life force energy. When you give yourself love that is kind, love that’s compassionate, love like the ‘BFF’ kind, you’ll be able to find love for your situation even in the dark times. 

You’ll restore and heal because the love you rally for yourself will eventually illuminate the darkness. 

The light from love will lead you out of the wilderness and restore and heal you. 

Maybe your life is chaotic right now. Maybe you can feel things are going way off balance. Know this: the most sustainable way to get back to center is through self love.

It’s the acts of kindness toward yourself that will restore your balance. And loving yourself during challenging times provides healing space for you. Recognize that any act you take, intended to bring you back to center or strengthen your core, is an act of love.

The gifts of healing include rebirth, renewal, victory, wisdom and many other gifts. With self love you can be open to receive all these gifts. Who says ‘no’ to bountiful blessings?

So you see Courageous Ones, self love isn’t about being “full of yourself” or being selfishly into yourself. Self love is about personal growth, consciousness, awareness, mental health, well-being, healing, fulfillment, acceptance and so on. (This is some courageous stuff.) It’s an essential tool in your spiritual wellness medicine bag. 🙏

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Until next time … ⚡🌈 💜

Be you & Be true, Courageous Ones!

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